Feeling a little down tonight. Random thoughts keep flooding my mind, which are making me moody. couldn't really pinpoint the prob but i shall list down my thoughts:

1. I'm kinda unsure of what i'm doing lately, cos it's not fulfilling at all though i keep going out and i don't really know what to do to enrich my life.

2. Feeling lost at the thought of sending US ppl off. I think I'll be really moody and lost on certain days when i send off really close friends. argh, really hate this feeling. may even cry when i send them; but i'll usu hold my tears back. And I won't know when i'll get over such moodiness. haha, i successfully held back mine while sending eve then.

3. I don't have any solutions to these problems. argh!

Oh well, on a lighter note, went out with shawn today again to swim. and i think my stamina sucks now, and my skin is a litle red now! i rarely get burnt! haha. oo and we wore our vj and hc pe shirt, causing the lifeguard to think we're students and wanted to just charge us 50 cents each. haha but we're honest enough to tell them we're above 18. actually, i was quite shocked when he said 50 cents cos i din realise i was wearing my school shirt! haha then we had lunch at bedok hawker, ordered really unhealthy food like nasi lemak, wan tan mee and carrot cake...



then i met weiliang to 'mug' at tam library, initially din want to mug and went to meet him without bringing any books. but since he had brought his maths notes, i shall be nice and study for a while. and i just took this Physical and inorg chem book written by mcmurry and fay and it's really a great book. managed to revise oxidation and half reaction method to balance eqn. din noe the legendary organic mcmurry also wrote physical chem book. haha, and i think i really like studying at tam lib compared to the airport cos i get less distracted! well, may go there with wl in future. =)

and i'm meeting wenchee, nic and yt tml for lunch! after not seeing them for quite some time! haha alright, at least something to look forward to - meal delivery with the dsta frens next week. feels more meaningful at least.

yeah, so today was a HOT date with baba at the cold airport mugging away! haha, we met at 11 and both of us were late. then went to have lunch, followed by mugging at t1 popeye! well, I only managed to consolidate what i've learnt for gibbs free energy, and guess that's not too bad! and we camwhored along the way to kill our boredom man!


wa cool pics! we were already ripping our hair out cos it was so stressful! hahaha!


and baba finally died on his book.


ok, we still managed to mug some stuff. not too bad~

And then we went to mr bean for dao hui tang yuan be4 we left home! haha, crapped quite a lot while studying with him and quite interesting to see him mimic some ppl. oopz haha! oh well, tml will be swimming but i think i'll be only able to swim 1 pathetic lap cos my arms still ache! argh! luckily, i've run 5km today!

wow~ and today felt so sinful with the nehru peeps! well, met kelvin initially to do some business, then we settled for really beautiful cakes at Hyatt hotel. the restaurant is really quite classy and there were only 2 of us, customers on a monday afternoon!


our cakes! i personally like the 1 that looks like da bian better! haha~ the other 1 was blackforest!

alright, then we met the nehru ppl at millenia walk and had our sinful german dinner! shared the humongous pork knuckle and sausage platter with jk and kelvin! woots, and i'm really quite full after eating that! and we ordered a munich beer, brewed by themselves and it's quite nice! so the 3 of us keep camwhoring! haha, seems like there were only the 3 of us there for dinner.


our dinner and dessert place! haha there's 1 foto with me and hq and jk btw us. and we were doing the HC sign and he's nj, ok la. we belong to the bukit timah schools!

So after dinner was followed by dessert at MOF and i shared with jk this red bean and green tea ice cream dessert. quite nice. oh NO! one whole night of sinful food!


yeah all of us!

and would like to say i really enjoyed myself today. chatting with kel, jk, hq, yp, wh. haha! it feels really fun to always have them for company! =)

Yeah, today was really a great day as I'm able to meet liyu finally! after nearly 1 year??? haha, i'm not so sure but the last time we met was eons ago!

well, went to meet weidi and samuel first to get her present, then i also got a very nice tie from taka... after which we went to meet liyu and had a really enjoyable dinner. we talked so much over dinner; though it was about 75, i seemed to be able to connect cos those are mutual frens too.

well, after which we went home and i was really quite touched after she alighted at tanah merah. cos usually friendship fades after not meeting a long period of time and i guess one will have this anxiety of not having any common topics to chat about suddenly. I initially also had such thought, but everything seemed to remain unchanged. like our attitudes towards each other; our candidness towards each other. I was really glad at the same time touched. It actually brought me back to hc days, when we would just crap at co practice and talk crap when we saw each other at class bench... and It's always so hard to get her cos she's always flying around, like in the states if not beijing cos her parents are working there. haha. and i really wonder when will be the next time i'll see her cos she won't be back soon~ till then my friend, take care k!

yesh! I've finally caught the legendary dark knights with weidi! SUPERB! I like the way they speak and the way the movie was shot. great action, great plot! ahha, and i find the joker really psychopathic. and i find this show quite similar to saw! cos the joker always gives his victims 2 options, 1 of them always allows them to save themselves at the expense of others, even if it means to cost their lives. haha! was totally captivated for the 2.5h!

Then, while weidi went to work, kiwi picked me up at marina sq. nice of him! and he paid a total of $3 at the erp gantries just to pick me up. oh no, thanks so much! i'll treat u to H2O next time! and we went to orchard hard rock cafe! to meet the rest, hh, hq, dh, ch! dh and ch were late cos they had tuition and lessons. so we went in first and boy, hard rock rox k! it's like stepping into a london restaurant. besides being besieged by caucasians, the interior decor had this little rustic ambience. totally love it! food there isn't ex too, ordered a veggie burger and it's patty's made of VEG! wow! haha had a 'healthy' meal huh! we really chatted a lot there, or rather i was rambling away! felt really enjoyable to talk to huihan. when he told me he's the only singaporean/non-american from his dorm. oh my, and i pray hard mine is besieged by singaporeans. haha! and i'm so gonna visit him when i'm in year 2 though he kept refusing to host me. haha he's just kou shi xin fei. funny buddy! wa, and we have more smu guys, yup 3 of them in our clique. hopefully we can go for lunch or tea at their school someday when they dismiss. Huihan is gonna fly so soon man, on the 13th of aug. hopefully we can have a last dinner with him on the 11th! will miss u buddy! i'm thinking wat to get for u! hahaa... maybe a cool sweater or jacket!


The very nice interior decor!


Our food! I think the veggie burger is really novel!

oh anyway, i must give thumbs up for hard rock, cos the ambience is good even on a thurs night! yeah~ shall visit there in future!


Us together!


And finally taking this under the drizzle! It's such a must to take with hard rock!

I woke up crying this morning... dreamt of a really sad dream I suppose which I cant recall... It's my first time really crying while sleeping. kinda cool...

maybe this shall be an emo post. yup, but before that would like to blog how I've benefitted from the SNF forum. haha, i've forgotten what it stood for but it's a forum to address about social entrepreneurship. was quite unsure and disinterested in this forum initially cos i dun even noe what's social entrepreneur. and today's forum gave me quite a clear definition of it--- starting up a business that benefits the marginalised and being self sustainable at the same time.

And it's quite difficult to sustain a business that has the marginalized lot as the workforce cos discrimination in today's society is still an inevitable flaw. it was quite boring initially but it got really engaging at the final segment when ppl on the floor get to throw questions at the panelists (which has Dr Vivian as one of them). and there was this lady, who's also a social entrepreneur who narrated her own experience and how hard it was for her to seek fundings for her business startup. cos initially, ppl were talking about how meaningful social entrepreneurship is, and how 'glamorous' to be able to help those marginalised. basically, it just felt that this is a noble and new notion that we should try to support in whatever ways we can and it felt like a preaching session. but this lady stood up and pointed out that the singapore culture isn't really receptive to this idea cos banks are skeptical about how sustainable this can be and thus are less willing to fund them. and i really feel for her, cos she managed to capture the essence of the problems faced by many entrepreneurs and this is so true which wasn't initially raised or dealt with or perhaps was conveniently ignored cos it wasn't an easy problem either. and from what i gathered from the panelists, there wasn't a concrete solution to this problem and perhaps this is something we should solve first be4 we can encourage social entrepreneurship? haha, well i dun have solutions myself either cos i'm really not into this line. But just really wanted to laud this lady who had the courage to pin point a ground problem which really set every1 thinking, if not it would have been another 'preaching' session.

oh well, then we we met the other nehru ppl for dinner at subway then settlers cafe at clarke quay. found the 2nd game really fun only, the last game was fun too only if we had more time to play. and i was a little sad today, cos i felt that i love nehru less than i used to love 'it'. bla, as time goes by, i began to realise the ppl whom i can really connect with and i find it quite sad when some seem to be a little left out when we were together as a grp. and it's harder to get 'high' when we're in a grp with diff frequencies. perhaps i'm 1 who prefers to be in a grp whereby everybody is comfortable with each other. yeah but then again, who doesn't?

anyway, some photos


our noses were itchy!


and the 10 of us doing 1-10 signs.

Things that I look forward to:

1. Outings with Nehru peeps
2. CCO practices on Sunday (maybe cos i'm really too free!)
3. CCO concert on 21st September (cos that's the last concert I'm performing for now)
4. Scholars' nite on 1st Aug
5. Flying to London on 3rd Oct and starting this exciting journey together with the cool dsta peeps and of course my hc friends.
6. Going for an overseas conference with michelle when I return from studies. (sounds quite far fetched, but hopefully we'll get to do so cos it gonna be so fun!)

And so the 1st year freshmen are gonna start their semester so soon. and even be4 school term starts, they're already besieged with the many camps and whatever not. and they won't have time for me sooooN! argh! well, maybe the smu ppl like kiwi and ys can ask me out for coffee someday at their school. haha! and soon their weekends will be spent at projects, if not mugging while i struggle rotting at home.

argh! guess time will usu be spent with the overseas ppl then.. haha~

took my meningitis jab at ttsh together with wl, ben, kelvin and jk in the morning. and i had dao hui tang yuan for lunch! like the tang yuan together with the soya milk, a totally marvelous combination. haha! and kelvin, jk and i went to somerset for durian chee cheong fan. haha think i prefer having the durian itself without the chee cheong fan, and it's more worthwhile.

followed by chi bi with jk, and cj! haha it had a brilliant plot i felt. the fightings, the strategies used and the charisma displayed by takeshi kaneshiro as zhu ge liang. he has a queer character, that never fails to amuse and wow the audience. apart from the gore and bloody scenes, i love the way they fight as one against cao cao. gave me this patriotic goosebumps while watching. and this is actually a sequal to the real chi bi war, there's also 1 screening in the west but it's a truncated 1 which condenses these 2 parts into 1. hopefully i'll be in time to catch the 2nd part! oh anyway, just as we were about to purchase our chi bi tix, we met the MOE imperial peeps outside xin wang cafe. saw kok chong and i was exclaiming his name be4 they noticed us. haha then noticed ks was there too! and exclaimed again... well we should have a dsta n moe imperial outing!

well, then we went to the food court cos cj wanna take his dinner be4 going for his law cip thing. and we tried the cha shao and shao rou which was featured in the qiang tan da xing dong variety show. it was quite nice, just that the shao rou was a tad salty perhaps due to the lack of rice~ yeah, and i'll be doing volunteer on thurs and nehru outing this sat!

And so, it's finally over. No more rehearsal at DSTA, no more long rides to buona vista. I'll be sooo free. Despite the freedom, I felt a little lost. suddenly, i have nothing to look forward to again and i have to structure this remaining 3 months in sg constructively. I think I have been so used to going to dsta over this past 1.5 months and spending time with the friends there. Nostalgia...

well, yesterday's ceremony went really well, it might be academically meaningful to the many scholars who received their scroll yesterday. just like how i felt 2 years ago when i was there in my really short hair, feeling proud to receive the scroll from defence minister. But to us, the 38 of us who performed for the ceremony, it was a blast. i was really confident while singing 'go the distance' with the other 5 singers, and my 'solo' part wasn't off pitch. we also sang with emotions. the whole song was reasonably well sang considering that we're not pro, and it was rewarding to see assuring smiles from the audience. =) was really happy that the song turned out really well.


a really quick lunch at taka fei cui!


ceremony has started and it's time to take our few best shots! we all look good man!


a few more shots! and the centre 1 was with mrs chin, our hc vp! and she told me maf is on 6th sept! yeah~ i'll be able to make it! she's really a nice vp!


this's shawn! haha a little blur, there was a clearer pic but i think this looks best haha! yeah it's for huggies dry comfort ad. HAHA!


The US peeps! host us when the UK ppl go there!


and the UK peeps, some were not in here!


and nehru! woots!

and so after the ceremony, we had a good time cam whoring at the reception place. and kelvin, vincent and i were asked to mingle with defence minister. luckily, we managed to strike a good conversation with him. haha~

Then we went to kbox at cine till 3am! sang really lots of songs and i've lost my voice! argh! but it was really fun, kelvin's a good kbox kakee cos he's always so high at every song.


KBOX at cine!


and we also camwhored at the eng room! oh my, we sang bla bla black sheep, ten little indians and 10 bottles standing on the wall! the dancing 1 was hit me baby 1 more time.


after kbox, we all went to vincent's house to play 80 marks. only 5 of us managed to stay awake all night! Dong yu, xiuhuan, kelvin, yipei and i. the rest were too zombified and concussed.


kelvin doing his early 3am morning exercise. ahah he's energetic man!

and then nice vincent drove out to get breakfast for us! we really had a nice 24h together.


our nice, warm breakfast...

Oh well, so I have the next 3 months to play with. and i should start planning things for myself! for now, it'll be volunteer work and practices on sundays for the upcoming cco concert! need to find more activities to fill in the gaps, perhaps mugging? haha!

where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where i'm meant to be

...
...
...

Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long...

and so these are the 2 hardest verses i have to memorise for this scholarship ceremony presentation cos I'm kinda having SOLO in these parts. haha~ and the pitch is also kinda high...

today's our last rehearsal and i'm kinda missing them though they were quite brainless sometimes. emptiness and the feeling of being lost would ensue; with the bountiful amount of free time i would have after this rehearsal all the way till 3rd Oct. would like to boast how lucky am i to be in OBS nehru cos the longer i spend my days with them, the more i find them the best ppl whom i can clique with. ppl of my frequency, approachable, and most importantly, not shallow. i know i can feel safe spilling my secrets to some of them... ppl like jk, kelvin, ben, hq... haha so when these rehearsals end, naturally we'd spend lesser time together. and the US ppl are flying off so soon... would miss them i guess. luckily, i'd be heading to london with those really awesome ppl i mentioned above.

well, nehru outings will still continue after tml. like our 1 nite sg food delight, and our kbox outings have yet to materialize! it def will; be4 the US peeps leave. oh, and I'm so looking forward to visiting New York (hopefully) in year 2 from london, cos it just takes 8h! and cmu ppl can host us conveniently... ppl like huihan, joseph. oh and tiffy can join us from cornell too! so fun! haha.

but well, hopefully we'll all cherish this few moments together be4 we leave. anyway, I'm going to shang this cco. concert's at esplanade on 21st sept, 2 weeks be4 i leave. it shall be my last co concert be4 Uni unless i also join the CO over there. Haha~ all the best to myself tml, hope i dun sing off pitch!

yeah! it's my 21st birthday today, filled with fun, laughter and guilt! anyway, happy birthday to myself! Today's celebration I would say is really a celebration. I dun really have such a 'grand' celebration before. guess cos i'm lucky to have my bday falling on a dsta performance rehearsal day!

Well, wanna thank junkai for all his efforts and thoughtfulness. he's really sweet la, to help me organise this 'party'. there were quite many ppl actuallY! and he got this lovely durian cake (cos i like durian) from sheraton! wa, i bet it must have cost a bomb! alright, thanks nehru and weiliang for the cake! and tiffy is really sweet too to make jelly! delicious and very Q. and i was forced to wear the cutie band which jk bought! argh! so incriminating~ haha~ Then we took loads of photos like those u usu see when we go to ppl's party. so we segregated ourselves into many overlapping sections! like imperial college, song grp, nehru, seletar, bmt buddy, hwa chongnians, UK peeps! and many more. slowly view those pics~ photo galore time!


practices in the morning!


Time for the cake! here comes in nice junkai and his cutie~


Oh no, it was meant to be a HCnian foto! haha, guess we're too high!


alright, a normal 1! HC unite! where's yipei???


With weiliang and shawN~


future mdm from mindef! haha~ she's adeline~


Hui han and I! bmt bed buddies!


weiliang and weehom, Seletar camp!


Nehru! we tong shen gong si during OBS when there was a terrible storm!


The UK peeps! some ppl are missing! haha, there was an imperial foto but it's about the same la~


DSTA - DSO interns unite!


Song Group for DSTA presentation ceremony!


Whole DSTA except for instruments grp! they weren't here~

Then it was dinner with pam, mj and cf. yeah it was really nice of mj to buy me a cheesecake cos i wanted a cake. hai, and i felt a little guilty when cf asked what i have done for them such that i deserve all this treatment in a joking manner. and it kinda struck me cos i have always been lazy to buy bday presents for these dybians. and i usu just chip in money, and i think it's kinda insincere come to think of it now. hai! I'm really sorry. was really touched when my mind kept playing cf words. I think i ought to learn how to cherish my friends properly cos they do not come by just at the snap of a finger. well, lastly, happy birthday to myself again before it strikes 12!


and a hearty dinner with dybians~

Lasty, wanna thank those who also wished me a happy bday on facebook and sms! Too many to state but u noe who u are! and finally i wanna mention felix cos i was quite shocked to receive his sms! haha u actually remembered. zai!